Down by the river on an idyllic July day in London, all was beautiful in the world. I received a call from an old boss and dear friend, Hector.
“Hi Darling, I’ve met a WONDERFUL guy for you on an Ayahuasca Retreat in The Pyrenees; ex-Harrovian, impeccable manners, handsome, kind, intelligent, spiritual. He’s Anglo-Iranian with a touch of French, ex-banker – currently studying naturopathy and really into wellness and spirituality. I think he’d be perfect for you.
What’s not to love? I thought to myself.
Vincent and I connected on WhatsApp. The chat flowed easily, his messages were decorated with emoticons of the magical variety that would normally be bursting out of my own keyboard; unicorns, shooting stars and rainbows.
I imagined that he would be a virtuous, clean living, softly spoken type, given the way that Hector had described him. We spoke about meeting for a walk in the park or a coffee. The idea of getting to know someone slowly and gently was appealing. He invited me to an Eco magazine launch event at a health food shop in Kew, (the kind of first date one would expect from a trainee naturopath).
The day that we were due to meet I received a message from Vincent;
‘I’m so so sorry, but I hurt my groin doing yoga. I can barely walk. I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it tonight.’
Well, 10 out of 10 for originality. One of the downsides of dating a ‘woke bloke’ – YOGA INJURIES! It struck me as a little strange but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. We re-scheduled for the following week, this time agreeing a perfectly vanilla Rendezvous at a bar on Portobello Road. I was impressed by the care he took to find the right venue.
‘Would you prefer somewhere quiet or bustling?’ Vincent asked.
‘Quiet – so that we can hear each other talking!’ I replied.
It was one of those balmy hot summer evenings – as rare in this country as the sight of a white owl, their rarity rendering their fleeting beauty even more exquisite, opening up a short-lived portal for high-octane adventure.
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